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  Recipe Home » Misc » How To Cook A Husband
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  How To Cook A Husband
  Category: Misc
  Author: The Savvybearcat
  Date: 1/1/2007
  Hits: 144
Ingredients:
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Instructions:
As Mr. Glass said of the hare, you first must catch him. Having done
so, the mode of cooking him so as to make a good dish of him is as
follows: Many good husbands are spoiled in the cooking; some women go
about it as if their husbands were bladders, and blow them up. Others
keep them constantly in hot water, while others freeze them by
conjugal coldness. Some smother them with hatred, contention and
variance, and some keep them in pickle all their lives.

These women always serve them up with tongue sauce. Now it cannot be
supposed that husbands will be tender and good if managed in this
way. But they are, on the contrary, very delicious when managed as
follows: Get a large jar called the jar of carefulmess, (which all
good wives have on hand) place your husband in it, and set him near
the fire of conjugal love; let the fire be be pretty hot, but
especially let it be clear-above all let it be constant. Cover him
over with affection, kindness and subjection. Garnish him with
modest, becoming familiarity and the spice of pleasantry and if you
add kisses and other confectioneries let them be accompanied with a
sufficient portion of secrecy; mixed with prudence and moderation. We
would advise all good wives to try this receipt and realize how
admirable a dish a husband is when properly cooked.

From an early 19th Century Broadside

"Smoke and Fire News"
November 1996

MM Format by John Hartman Indianapolis, IN Father's Day 1998
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